"Ow. Why is your elbow in my sternum?"

At our second bar review (happy hour... er, 5 hours) I happened to be accosted by numerous types of sketchy men who also (sadly) happened to be fellow schoolmates. This is why it is not ok to humor male strangers who happen to be hitting on you.

I was always told that when we go out, I was not the nice one. If someone came up to hit on us group of girls, I would be agitated and annoyed and would proceed to blatantly ignore or refute any advances. Last night, since I was in the company of my colleagues, I decided "Hey, shed the bitch face." Bad idea.

Why you ask?

Because then you leave open 2L's who TRY TO BITE YOUR EAR OFF (literally) when you're trying to have a normal conversation. I think my favorite line was "if you don't want me in public, i can find someplace private. Like the bathroom."

Really? REALLY? I may have "1L" written all over my face but contrary to popular belief, I am not wearing a sign that says "stupid" or, even better, "have your way with me."

Imagine this: I'm trying to talk to this 2L and we're against the wall opposite the bar. Every single time he steps in closer, I take a step back. Next thing I know, my beer that was resting on the ledge about 10 feet away and I'm backed up against the wall. What was I supposed to do? I was trying to be nice and next thing I know this bastard has got me pinned against the wall telling him to get off of me. You know he knew too, especially since he kept saying "Ow, you're hurting me, can you move your elbow? Why is it in my sternum?" Me: "Because I want you to get off of me now!" Finally, two friends realized what was going on and intervened but not after his lack of trying to get me to go with him to the bathroom, then a corner of the bar, then finally, his place. Ew. Ew. Ew. Worst part? He's in my children's advocacy certification program. I don't know which frightens me more, the fact that the next 2 years we'll be in the same program or the fact that he's going to be actively working with children.

Moral of the story? Sometimes it's just easier to be branded the bitch than to fight off a creepy upperclassman who still continues to stalk you after you elbow him in the sternum and knee him in the groin.