Orientation

Now, for my own sake, I was told to give people a chance. (You know who you are.) Done and done.

It's only my 4th day of orientation and I feel like I've been here for 3 weeks! The amount of forced socializing is overflowing and of course, you have to be nice to your fellow colleagues because you don't want to be coined as that "pretentious bitch."

I am that pretentious bitch. Or maybe just cynical. Or maybe I'm just not meant to be in the OC. Let me break it down for you.

A.) Apparently, it is customary to show up on your first day of Orientation in a dress that could be almost considered ballroom formal. (Note this makes you an attention WHORE). See, the trick is to make sure you show enough fake cleavage and that the fabric clings to your ass. And believe me, after being here for a week and a half I can officially spot fake tits. They're everywhere!

B.) It is also customary to get a bunch of your fellow guy classmate's numbers and text them constantly in hopes to get laid. You know, like casting a wide fishing net and praying you get a piece of ass, er, trout. Now, I am all about a woman's right to "spit game" to whomever she pleases to. But really, this is law school, not an effing dating service. This makes you a WHORE.

C.) The aforementioned is also true in the reverse. Newsflash, penis or not, this still makes you a WHORE.

D.) Sometimes, in order to be well liked in law school, you have to keep your mouth shut. It's really sad when you have already been coined "that guy" who will not shut up in class causing your fellow colleagues to start keeping a tally of just how many times you will speak about something inane to show the professor that you have a modicum of intelligence. NEWSFLASH: This makes you a PARTICIPATION WHORE.

Ahh yes, orientation. The art of acclimating to your school and classmates. From what I can see, I may honestly be the most chaste person in my class.


Now THAT is a scary thought.