Blogging is free therapy.

In sum

2009-03-17T05:31:00.002-04:00

I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.

I don't care if it's the unpopular choice, I'm still going to do what's right. "De-friending" me on facebook, messenger, whatever form of communication you find to be controlling in my life won't stop me. I'm stronger now. I've made my choice, I accept it and I'm proud of it. Retaliate all you want, you won't get me dirty.

One Brain Cell.

2009-02-16T17:04:00.003-05:00

Let me tell you a story about someone in my life who I nickname OBC (One Brain Cell). Now, I may have said this before but actually, this girl might be the worst roommate i've ever had. Yes, Verizon was pretty bad; however, OBC is worse.

First, OBC has a problem with dishes. As in, she likes to stack them high. Furthermore, what is a purpose of a dish rack? To dry dishes? Yes. What type of dishes? Clean ones? Oh my! What a concept! OBC likes to stack the dirty dishes in and along the sink and then transfer the dirty dishes in the drying rack. Really? REALLY?! Who raised you? Where in your ONE BRAIN CELL did you think it was OK to place a DIRTY DISH (multiple ones multiple times since we've moved in) on the drying rack. To dry dirty dishes? Yum, please. I love having to scrape off your weird foods off the fucking dishes that you decided TO DRY DIRTY. Asshole.

Second, your cat is a piece of shit. Well, no, your treatment of how the cat should live in our home is a piece of shit. The cat itself = cute. You = not cute. You = idiot. Not only have I told you time and time again that the cat needs to stay outside because i'm allergic to it, but you seem to think that cats DO NOT SHED. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! And then you scream at me to "give you a fucking break" when I ask you to sweep up your cat's dander and how you refuse to "fucking clean after" the cat because how am I "supposed to know how to be responsible for a pet when [I] don't own one." Are you fucking for real? I DONT OWN A PET BECAUSE I CANT TAKE CARE OF ONE BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE. You can't just fucking get the pet high in a closet with you because you feel like. You have to feed it, bathe it and take care of it. ALL of which you don't do. Furthermore, I love how I told you in the beginning that I thought your cat had fleas and you told me it was "impossible" because she just had medication put on her. Now, you change your statement and say that "oh, [my boyfriend] told me that fleas can lay eggs and that [oops] I guess she had fleas that laid eggs because I had a lot of bites the other day." And THEN DONT OFFER TO PAY FOR THE EXTERMINATION?! You piece of shit. Has all the alcohol and pot ruined your one brain cell that you didn't realize that fleas reproduce at a lightening speed? Are you that much of an idiot to not realize that your cat not only gets me sick with allergies but now brought fleas into MY FUCKING HOUSE and BIT MY FUCKING LEGS which leaves me with SCARS? How would you like it if your superficial one pea brained cell had to have scars? I know your dumb ass cares only about how you look constantly you vain piece of shit. Yeah, thats what I thought.

Third, don't fucking sit here and complain about your lack of income and hassle me to sign a return on the pet deposit WHICH YOU WILL PROBABLY BRING BACK FROM YOUR PARENTS HOME now that you got your stupid pet deposit back when YOU ARE THE IDIOT that quit your job in the middle of a recession. I mean really, what idiot quits their job in this economy? Oh so boo hoo you weren't happy because they weren't promoting you. NEWSFLASH: they werent promoting you because you would make your powerpoint presentations HIGH OFF YOUR ASS. I mean really, how are you going to smoke a fucking bowl before you have to give a presentation and then be pissed that they refuse to promote you. Was it your sense of entitlement that turned them off to you or the fact that you probably left your one brain cell at home whenever you went to work? If so, please tell me why your one brain cell didn't think to WASH & CLEAN the dishes to put in the DRYING RACK which is reserved for CLEAN DISHES!

Last, if you wonder why I totally avoid you, it's because I'm trying to save MY brain cells because I have a fear that your stupidity is contagious. I mean really, did you think it was a good idea to get blackout drunk all the time, bring home boys who ARE NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND, stumble everywhere hitting everyone and everything in your path while drunk, turn on the HEAT when it is 60 degrees outside, and think that taking "intro to German" at the local community college while jobless is going to further your career goals.

A hint: if you have one brain cell, try not to overexert it. Read: stop drinking, smoking and thinking.

Idiot.

Facebook's 25

2009-01-26T14:22:00.000-05:00

1. I hate math and generally refuse to calculate a split dinner bill yet I can tell you exactly how many calories I've ingested on a daily basis. I blame my math hatred on the fact my mother made me do "Kumon" when I was a little girl. In actuality, I'm really good at math but when I was in 7th grade, I faked needing extra attention so I could be in the same class as a boy I had a crush on. Ever since then, I've just told everyone I'm terrible at it.

2. Most of my facebook pictures show me without glasses but I wear them on a regular daily basis. I was born practically blind and am still traumatized by the frog like glasses that I had to wear at the age of 4.... and all the photo documentation that my mother has of that time period in my life. With a horrible bowl haircut.

3. I am truly confused as to which side of the country is my Home. My family lives in California where I was born and raised but my nearest and dearest friends live back East. And you know what they say, home is where the <3 is.

4. I am allergic to peanut butter and shellfish but I will still never pass up a chance to eat shrimp... so long as there's benadryl in the immediate vicinity. I've been told my grandfather used to do the same thing.

5. I have a love/hate relationship with my cell phone. I frequently ignore calls but when I talk to my friends from far away, I'm generally on it for at least an hour. Now i've upgraded to a blackberry and am annoyed that i'm so accessible but refuse to downgrade because I love the facebook application and brick breaker game.

6. I would not be able to survive without Costco and Trader Joe's.

7. I only sleep on the left side of the bed. If I HAVE to sleep on the right, I usually wake up in the middle of the night and move to the couch or floor.

8. I rarely watch big blockbuster or classic movies (read: Mary Poppins, Sound of Music, Batman movies?) yet I can quote every line in Legally Blonde and Mean Girls.

9. My family thinks I'm going to be a great attorney because I'm obnoxious, outspoken and not afraid to articulate the needs of others. In reality, I have a fear of public speaking, specifically in class and in front of my classmates. I tend to start crying when I get called on.

10. I have a baby sister who is 10 years younger than me and laugh whenever she mirrors my brooding, sarcastic style.

11. I am prone to serious bug bites. Today, I have at least 20. All are swollen. Yes, I'm very uncomfortable right now.

12. I am one of 17 Rosario cousins and proud of it. Without them, I would have no family.

13. I am cynical about how I'm the only one of my friends who is not in a serious, committed relationship yet I secretly DVR all wedding shows WeTV and Style network has to offer.

14. I played the piano for 17 years. I've stopped for about 4 now and can still remember every classical piece i've learned.

15. I love cooking and used to cook every meal but now only cook frozen dinners... and frozen breakfasts. (Thank you Jimmy Dean.)

16. I try to go to church every Sunday. When I can't, I go to an early weekday Mass. I pray the Rosary every night and I thank God for my family, friends, good AND bad fortune.

17. The two places I want to visit in my life are the Grand Canyon and Brazil.

18. I constantly talk about moving back to the Bay Area but have not made any plans furthering that goal. In fact, I've only looked to moving back East or Chicago.

19. Procrastination started at an early age for me. The same goes for talking my way out of bad situations. When I was a little girl, I once had a "show and tell" project where I had to bring in a drawing. Being the little procrastinator I was, I did it during preschool class when I excused myself to the bathroom. I scribbled something on a piece of paper with multiple colors knowing it didn't make sense and presented it to the teacher and class as a house with a clothesline with my grandparents teaching me about plants. I hoped the teacher would just nod and pat me on the head saying "that's interesting. Very good." It worked.

20. I am the weirdest Type A person you will ever meet. My room is always messy and disorganized but my planner is color coordinated and my workspace is always, always clean and disinfected.

21. I am my mother's daughter and own a lot of designer bags and shoes. I have trained myself to walk out of a store without dropping a serious wad of cash on either or both that would catch my eye. If I still think about it a week later, I'll go back to purchase the item. Yes, I am my mother's daughter.

22. I have never broken a bone nor have ever required stitches. I am, however, constantly going to the doctor's office and I never really know why.

23. All of my "firsts" have been in Washington, D.C. And no, not all at the same time. And no, get your mind out of the gutter, one of them was my first grilled cheese! But yes, all of my firsts have been in D.C. over a large span of time.

24. My friends' and boyfriends' backgrounds are generally non-Filipino. Yet I was once the president of my undergrad Filipino club and a national director for a non profit national Filipino student organization.

25. I put salt on everything. Literally everything. (Read: strawberries, various other fruits, vegetables, pork rinds etc...) It would be even better if coupled with vinegar.

How I feel about California right about now.

2009-01-22T02:28:00.004-05:00

Sadly, I feel this way about the people who surround me (in law school) and even my family (up north.) The State itself is great. Great weather, great atmosphere, where I want to practice. Maybe I should just be a hermit. Or move back to DC. Then I wouldn't have to worry about people (READ: psychotic competitive law students and psychotic competitive family) who don't know how to fucking act their age.

Yes, mother, I mean you.

Precious Moments with Mom (revisited)

2009-01-12T03:09:00.003-05:00

After a 6 hour drive from soCal to the Bay Area, my family and I went to dinner. When we got home, my father retired to bed and my sisters were on the family computers playing lord knows what. In the kitchen, my mother and I were catching up, gossiping and filling in the blanks. In essence, my mother is really like a frenemy. We "hang" like friends but then a conversation would take a turn like this:

mom: I can't believe those facebook pictures of [insert old classmates from grade school]. How did those girls get so ugly?
me: I have no idea
mom: Why do you think that happens?
me: well its like the ugly duckling story and plus those girls peaked in junior high. I mean I was never as pretty as them and they made every effort to remind me about that every day. Man, I was an ugly kid.
mom: Oh I know. My sisters keep asking, "What happened to [my name]? She got so pretty!" I keep telling them that they're crazy. They just haven't seen you in a long time. I don't know what they're talking about.
me: You know, I always love coming home to you.

Why you never had a chance.

2008-12-04T19:32:00.003-05:00

To give a majority of people not in school credit, generally when you say you're in finals mode it means the degree of stress rises. Furthermore, it means that the student in finals mode wants to procrastinate but doesn't have time to deal with stupid questions. Among the favorites are: Why are you so stressed out? How much longer do you have?

But a new conversation I had recently sparks the topic of today's post:

Boy: Hey hey
Me: hey
Boy: Hows life?
Me: stressful
Boy: why so
Me: finals start on monday
Boy: law school?

Ok. For background purposes, I would like everyone to know that I met this boy through my bff in SF. . . when we were out celebrating my return to CA for law school. For some reason, we sporadically kept in touch through AIM. If you MET me while we were celebrating my decision to go to law school and we KEEP IN TOUCH on a somewhat regular basis, WHY, WHY would you ask if my FINALS were for Law School? I mean I know this guy could potentially talk to a million girls, but come on.

Boy: Hows the love life?
me: ?
Boy: ?
me: i dont understand the question
Boy: Hows your love life?

Now, again, let's discuss the importance behind stupid questions. I know, perhaps I shouldn't be irresponsibly on AIM - especially during finals. But let's be honest. I've spent all semester hiding in books and avoiding people like him. Really? Love life? Relevance? What? Who ARE you!? a.) of all, why do you care? b.) of all, if you're going to tell me that yours is awesome (and he did) what is the purpose of even asking me when you overtly hit on me every time we had previously talked? and c.) of all, REALLY? I'm in mother fucking law school. What the fuck do you think I do here? Look for husbands? I sit in class and not read over 5,000 pages of text to learn the law in order to bat my eyes and lower my shirt at some douchebag in my class? No thank you.

Hi my name is... and I have a Facebook addiction.

2008-11-24T21:01:00.001-05:00

It has been noted in my family that my little sisters and I have fixation problems. In some cases, fixation can be a good thing. For example, my baby sister has a fixation with beating our other sister and myself academically so she works harder. Please note that fixation in this context is interchangeable with competition. In other cases, it can be a weird thing. For example, when I was 13, I began to have a torrid and obssessive love for Hanson. (More on that at another time). I had binders and websites made in homage to my favorite bands. If you knew me back then, there was not a single wall space uncovered thanks to Hanson posters. I slept, ate, dreamt Hanson.

But now, as a brand new 25 year old, I find myself trying to find ways to restrict a horrible obsession as I enter the two weeks before finals period: Facebook. Now for the past year and a half, I've been known to have increased facebook activity, such as, but not limited to, wall posting, birthday wishing, and picture commenting. Generally, each post left has the phrase "miss you!" I tend to think that the sentiment is returned in some way, shape or form. But what happens when the obsession has you stumbling across a wall post that is passive aggressively (or even overtly) directed at you? Should you shrink back in shame that you, a facebook addict, have finetuned your fb stalking abilities to come across the mean sentiment in a public forum? Or should you feign indignance at the thought of a mean spirited "friend" by de-friending them; or even better, putting them on limited profile status so you can still see their shit talking but they can't see anything on your profile?

I mean really? What is it about me that is so easy to make jabs at? I mean come on, its not like I wouldn't see it. So what if over a year ago I thought that it was funny to title an email after a person's insane personality or to wish someone happy birthday from California or put up a status message about how I'm currently feeling (e.g. "What now, Angelica?" See post dated 11/11/2008). Is it really necessary to be a jackass about it?

Oh, and I decided to restrict them (some a long time ago) from seeing a lot of my profile. Do they care? No, but it's better to give them a lot less material to talk about when they want to be assholes. I swear, these people.

Welcome to Finals.

Precious Moments with Mom

2008-09-03T02:20:00.002-04:00

Mom: I don't know what's wrong with [my coworker's daughter]. She's an attorney, she's smart, funny and attractive. I just don't understand why she doesn't have a boyfriend.

me: Thanks mom. So I'm single because i'm none of the above?

Mom: That's because you're picky.

Apparently, rejection of the Jizzmaster warrants a "picky" label.

p.s. Between me and my friend L. Miller the word "picky" was code for "gay."

I'd rather be single.

2008-08-15T00:50:00.000-04:00

Since I officially became single (many, many months ago), my ever so helpful friends and closest confidantes gingerly expressed to me that perhaps I should give men a chance. This by no means indicated that I am a lesbian, it just meant that maybe, generally, I'm a little hostile when it comes to meeting guys. The following are the top three reasons (meaning I had to search within all my heinous incidents) why, why, I should always be a bitch, bear in mind, these incidents happened within the past 3 months:

Boy behind door number 3:
Recently I went on a date with a guy I met through a co-worker. I found him to be a little socially awkward and not really amusing at times, but, my roommates met him and said to give him a chance. After all, I am the only single person in my group of friends (officially). Here's how it panned out:

me: So do you have any roommates?
him: no, I own my own place. I live alone.
me: Oh that's pretty sweet.
*****
him: so I hope we can go out again
me: maybe next time i'll come to [insert his nearby orange county city]
him: *awkward pause* well, I don't know if you can do that
me: *puzzled* why?
him: because my ex girlfriend still lives with me (side note: this is ex girlfriend of 10 years).

Boy behind door number 2:
I used to frequent a comedy club called iO West in Hollywood. My partner in crime L. Miller and I love to watch our favorite team KDD perform there. One night, we went there to grab drinks and hang out. L. Miller, with the foresight to know when an annoying and possibly sketchy guy was about to advance, started talking to the bartender and sat down at the bar. In fall swoop, the guy she expertly avoided started talking to me. Here's how that conversation panned out:

him: so what do you do?

me: i'm a student

him: oh what are you studying?

me: law

him: oh like pre-law?

me: no, like THE law

him: *nudge* so will you be my attorney some day? *wink*

me: oh, you're really not my type of client

him: what would that be?

me: children.

him: *pause, gives me the "ick" look* wow, so you're not going to be rich at all are you?

me: *offended* um, no.

::awkward pause::

me: so what do you do?
him: oh, i'm an actor.

Last but definitely not least, boy behind door number 1:
Again, out with friends, this time in Santa Monica, CA, I met my all time favorite guy at a bar. (Sarcasm added.) I was sitting in a booth with two girls, one guy when this little scrawny white boy slid in the booth sitting himself right next to me:

him: hey there

me: um, hi

him: my name is Chris (as an FYI, I felt that if I censored the following information my readers would not get the full effect of the reasoning behind my initial irritation.)

me: (already irritated) ugh. i hate that name. where are you from?

him: Pittsburgh (of course, OF course)

me: ugh, i hate that city. in fact, i prefer not to talk to guys named Chris from Pittsburgh.

(for those readers who do not know, my ex boyfriend's name is Chris, from Pittsburgh)

him: well, my friends like to call me the jizzmaster.

me: excuse me? did you give yourself that name or did someone else...
::shoots look to girl across the way AND the guy sitting next to me who stare in disbelief::

him: no, my buddies (points over to the bar) call me the jizzmaster.

me: i dont even want to know. (he makes small talk to the other people at our table and then leaves to get more drunk)

***** (later on, he returns to the scene of the crime) *****

him: so i live three blocks away

me: so?

him: you wanna come over and watch a movie? no funny business i swear

me: you must be fucking joking

him: oh come on, i have catch phrase

me: sorry, i only put out for yahtzee.

Filed Under: Next Generation of Rivalry.

2008-04-30T03:38:00.004-04:00

Today, a fellow law student (who I actually don't know) and his son walked by in the hall. Both are wearing San Diego Charger paraphanalia.

Me: Aww, what a cute little boy! But he's wearing the wrong t-shirt!

Fellow law student: no, he's not!

Little boy (looking indignant): No, I not!

Fellow law student: come on [insert little boy's name] - don't listen to her, she must be an Oakland Raider fan.

Little boy (scurries after father): ewwww!!!!

*Well, that soured fast.

What are you?

2008-04-29T21:54:00.003-04:00

Recently I donated blood to the American Red Cross.

Intake person: Date of birth?

me: 11/21/83

Intake person: Race?

me: Um, what do you have there?

Intake person: Well, we have black, hispanic, white. What are you? Mixed?

me: No, Filipino.

Intake person: Oh. ::clicks mouse:: Other.

* I can't make this shit up. Seriously.

Back, Back, Back, Back it up.

2008-04-09T03:10:00.003-04:00

Short and sweet today. Conversation with my father.

me: I threw out my back this weekend. And I don't have medical insurance. And i'm laying in the middle of the hall at school because it hurts to be alive.

Dad: Hmm. Right. You don't have medical insurance. have you tried Vicks?

me: Of course I tried Vicks. Are I not your daughter and Filipino? I've tried everything. I'm in a lot of pain.

Dad: Hm. Sucks. I don't know what to tell you. If you were home I'd just give you medicine and we could take care of you here. But you're not home. And it's not like you have anyone to take care of you. Family, boyfriend...yeah, if you had a boyfriend he could help you out and stuff like carry your books and rub Vicks on your back.

me: Thanks. Do you have a prescription for that?

I am a Person You May Know

2008-04-02T20:35:00.005-04:00

Does anyone remember the "good ole days" of facebook? No posting on SuperWall's, throwing sheep, attacking ninjas and, of course, taking a "how hot are you" quiz? No news feeds, redundant email notifications and reminders of "causes" and [insert favorite sports team] fan applications? (Mind you, I have two of those on my page. I am just as guilty.)

The original intent of the creation of facebook (as i've read) is to create an internet networking page for students. As it grew, the page spilled into the workplace and then to geographically acceptable networks. (i.e., Washington, DC (a city) is a network, but Orange County (*duh, NOT a city) is also a network. I point this out because you don't see "Mission Viejo" being a network even though that's a city). Anyway, the reasons behind why facebook was created are not to be short changed. Good does come from this site. But I fail to understand why, WHY the applications on the site must torture me further by battering me incessantly with useless updates and applications that try to get me down when i'm feeling especially bitchy and bitter. (Shocker? I think not.)

My latest and greatest gripe with facebook is their new feature called "People You May Know."

People You May Know is exactly how it sounds. Facebook magically reconciles all your friends and their friends and their baby mama's friends to see if you all have friends in common thus having not "friended" someone who you may actually be real life friends with. Now really, is this application necessary? I was at a club last night and instead of asking for my number, some guy asked IF I WAS ON FACEBOOK. Really? Oh but I digress. So lo and behold, this new application has made me laugh. At the beginning of the year, I had a crap load of "facebook friends." While I know it would appear "rude" I decided to cleanse my facebook of extraneous friends. Harsh, but true. Will I really ever need to talk to the girl in some random frosh year finite math class? How about that person who facebooked me because he or she happened to live on my floor sophomore year? Hell, I dont even remember these people's names. Why do I want to know what their favorite movies, interests, and quotes are?

Regardless, one day, "People You May Know" was proudly displayed on my homepage highlighted its usual top three picks of who I may know. This link should really be called "Click here if you want to know how many friends you have in common with people you never wanted to friend in the first place." Or, even better, "Click here if you want to know how your exboyfriend's new girlfriend is BFF with YOUR friends." On this particular day, it really was another sign that I should remove my exboyfriend from my facebook friends. (Ridiculous, I know.) Apparently his new girlfriend is a "Person I May Know". Well no shit shirlock.

a.) We went to the same fucking school
b.) We were both in the greek system
c.) She's actually pretty damn smart to start ingratiating herself in his life by facebooking his friends. I did the same thing. Hence why we have so many goddamn friends in common.

So yes, facebook, thank you for pointing out the glaring obvious fact that this bitch ass heifer is a person I may know. In fact, next time I go to DC, should I run into her, I would be like "yes, I know you, we have 3874 friends in common. Why aren't we friends? Oh right because you're fucking my exboyfriend. In my bed."

I may be fat, but you're still ugly and I can always diet.

2008-03-26T05:34:00.003-04:00

Miss R in Section B provided me with the topic for my blog today by telling me that other people’s bullsh*t shouldn’t affect me. Take the attitude of the blog title to heart. I may be fat, but you’re still ugly and I can always diet. Today I had a practice oral argument where I completely bombed in front of my class. I say practice because next week, I'll be in front of judges and my professor will be grading me. Suffice to say, I won't do any worse than I did today. Now, bear in mind, I probably wouldn't be feeling as bad if it weren't for GP. GP, short for God's Property, is a group of 4 girls in my class who are blonde, super Christian (think: Mandy Moore in SAVED), and mean, mean, mean. I would classify them as the more known nickname of "mean girls" but GP is so much more fitting. They go around school being horrifically mean to their future colleagues but then talk about how they believe in Jesus and go to church all the time and that they have "love in their hearts for those who are beneath them" (true story).

Unfortunately for me, they've been the bane of my existence since school started. Even more unfortunate? They're in my fellowship program, thus subjecting me to further torture with them over my summer break. Why are they so horrible, you ask. Well notwithstanding the fact that they tell everyone that they are right now ranking at the top of our class (mind you, our grades are soft grades from last semester - rankings change like Miss J on Top Model changes hair styles), they tend to make you feel like you're this small. For those who remember my past blog and affectionately remember BFD, its like her times 4 of them and they're blonde and Jesus freaks. (Please note: I have nothing against Christians. If you know me well, you know that I'm very Catholic and also open minded about different religions.) But I digress.

Today, as I was laying out my oral argument in front of the class, the professor interrupted me with a question that I wasn’t fully prepared for. As I searched my argument notes for the answer, I hear a little snickering and giggling to my right. I look (even though I know) and lo and behold GP is laughing at me for pausing too long. Laughing, tittering, snickering, whispering to each other and pointing. Thrown off, I look back to my notes and try to collect my thoughts. The pause starts to become unbearable. All I can hear is them. My face starts to get hot and literally, I felt the tears springing to my eyes. (Such a literary term that I feel is so graphic in words and feeling.) The professor sees that I’m shaken and gently (but almost condescendingly) says, "Perhaps you should go back to your first point." I was horrified and humiliated.

My friends outside of law school are just shocked and confused. Who raised these people? Sadly enough, my friends inside of law school thought that it was pretty standard for them. After stewing for over 24 hours in anger over it brought me back to what Miss R said to me almost immediately after. No matter what, I can always change things about myself I don’t like but they will always have a hideous soul. Now, yes, it seems drastic of a word choice for people who are just like little high schoolers with silver spoons in their mouths. Funny enough, they were all born and raised in the OC. Either way, these are the girls who will hide library books, try to snoop through your notes, tell you that they think you’re a slut to your face (true story) and remind you daily that they are at the top of our class with their grades. What I want to know is, what does this tell you about where i'm living for the next three years?

On a petty note, (hey, if you don't like it, you don't have to read it) in Facebook news my lovely ex-boyfriend apparently is now calling his new girlfriend of less than 2 months "bebe" and tells her on Facebook that he "loves her." I personally would love to call him and thank him for helping me lose 5 pounds today by puking simultaneously while I read that. Remember, I can always diet. (Which is pretty funny because I think his new girlfiend did reference me as fat. Fitting.)

Spring Break Part Deux: A Visit From Reality

2008-03-25T19:13:00.002-04:00

Thankfully, the second half of my spring break was MUCH MUCH better than the first. No drama or stupidity, just a fantastic way to take a break from school. I highly recommend visits to me. The weather is great and I'll be so happy to see you, you wouldn't know what to do with yourself. S came to visit me and while I can't hand you salacious gossip, I can guarantee that this was the best time I've had since I've moved to the OC.

Day 1: LAX. Ok, so not so much exciting but we were both tired. We did get to visit her friend L (I'm getting lazy with the nicknames) and proceeded to grab lunch and beers. On the bumper to bumper traffic drive back to the OC, we entertained ourselves by staring at the car in front of us that had an ad for "grout cleaning and lippage removal." Hot.

Day 2: Much of the day is hazy but we ended up going to a really cool improv show in LA. And of course fell in love with one of the improv groups. Might have found my newest husband(s). Downside? Getting a parking ticket when I clearly did not park anywhere near a red line or specified sign.

Day 3: Watched the alma mater be in the NCAA tourney for the first time! Good game, bad result. At least there was a lot of heart poured into it! And of course, there's always next year. In the 80 degree weather, we laid around the pool and then went drinking that night where S got hit on by a sketchy man who works in the meat department at Ralphs. Hey, at least we can get a discount on our chicken! Gotta love Patrick's Pub.

Day 4: SAN DIEGO! a photo montage will describe our scavenger hunt. Hardest things to find: Asian tourists (i know, right?! crazy!). But thankfully my friend down in SD took us to Old Town where we would clearly find Asian tourists there. Unfortunately, I cannot mimic her accent but the words (imagined in an accent form) were "ooooooh authentic" ::click, click::.

Day 5: Easter! Found out Chipotle was closed on Easter and that made us sad. Took Easter pictures (no, not at Sears. I know you're disappointed.) and then went to lunch. Proceeded to lay out again. Life still good.

Day 6: I had to unfortunately return back to reality while S had to lay by the pool. However, being the badass that I am, I cut Property and came and laid out with her. It's ok, I was already called on and I got to witness S getting a badass burn, er, tan.

Today is the day I have to bring S back to the airport. Boo. Sadly enough, even though we had fun, it was as if it was good times yet again had arrived into my life. By good times, I mean: reality came back. Gone were the worries of what I had to wear on a day to day basis, what type of makeup I was wearing and what Ryan Seacrest talked about on the radio that morning. Instead, the second part of my spring break was chill and filled with non-vapid conversation. I'm horribly sad that I have to retreat back to the ways of law school and the pettiness that it encompasses. I suppose I'll have my books to keep me company until the end of the year (or end of three years). Until then, I'll keep reminding myself that there is a real world out there and good things come to those who wait.

Spring Break Part I: Tangentally Vegas

2008-03-19T05:07:00.006-04:00

Being the expert procrastinator that I am, I've decided that instead of cleaning my apartment for the arrival of one of closest friends back East, I'm going to finally write an entry after a month.

It has been a few years since I've been on a "real" spring break and its quite interesting how grad students easily forget that the undergraduate life is definite the ghost of christmas past. My classmates decided to go to Vegas for a few days in the beginning of Spring Break. Now, I had heard of this plan from the Original Mastermind behind the idea and immediately rejected it for practical reasons. 1.) Not really my section going (but the counterargument there was that I wasn't even friends with my section, furthermore, I had more friends in the "fun" section that was going), 2.) Really shouldn't be spending the money I don't have, and 3.) I REALLY should be studying. After some cajoling from a couple of members from the group, I decided that I really needed a vacation and it would be fun.

Boy was I wrong.

Before we left for Vegas, there was already drama. And, yes, it was the petty, asinine, waste of time drama that to the intelligent mind should be shrugged off and long forgotten. What? What's that you ask? People in law school are intelligent? WRONG! In fact, I'm starting to think that all the IDIOTS go to law school to hide behind fake intelligence! But that, my dears, is a whole 'nother oprah story.

Anyway, in its simplest terms, the drama had to do with people not liking each other and trying to make me choose whose room I would be staying with. Now, I have drama of my own (of course, of COURSE of my own making) and didn't need to be inundated with such mundane issues but nonetheless there I was. Trying to be diplomatic and getting my ass handed to me. Which brings me to reason number 283 why I hate the people at my law school (thus associating it with Orange County, generally).

It appears that (with exception of exactly 2 people) everyone i've met likes to say that he or she is a "chill, drama free" person. However, the statement alone inherently creates drama because said person will go out of his or her way to avoid any confrontation thus provoking anyone who is upset about any situation associated with this person. Now like i've said, everyone likes to pretend they don't want drama but the exact same people (myself included) are knee deep in it. Why? Because its interesting? Because it takes us away from the pain of law school reading? Believe me, I would gladly take reading over dealing with you people. No, it is because I believe, wholly and truly that Orange County is a black hole for the vapid. Seriously. I have plenty of friends in their first year who are just not experiencing the exact pitfalls of [insert your lawschool name] High School.

The reason why I generalize and blame it on the location is because most of the drama is centered around people FROM the OC. Born, raised, kicking and screaming in Orange County. Not all, but most. The ones who are not are put in a different category: insecure and just too young. They justify every wrong and immoral thing they do to make themselves feel better. A great example is how this one guy (J) blatantly left his boy, N (who was the person that originally planning the trip) because J was able to get in a club with a bunch of hot girls. When asked, J said "I told [N] that his name was at the door... Oh, they said they didn't have it? I gave him the number of [insert another random club that no one was at]. Whatever. Not my problem." And, so it goes in Vegas for a continuous 3 nights. People being selfish and not caring what happened to the general group, so long as they were getting free drinks and living the lifestyle that they are obviously so not accustomed to. Sadly enough, these are the type of people i'm surrounded by. People who participate in instant gratification through any means. To hell with you if you get in my way, they say. I suppose its to be expected. All the signs have been there all year, I just chose not to see it.

This is not to say I didn't have fun in Vegas, because I definitely did. But my idealistic ways have melted. Even though I mocked half my classmates for just overall being stupid, I actually believed that I was surrounded by good people. Events in the past couple of weeks leaves me to believe otherwise and for that I think you, the readers, should be worried about what type of attorneys will be entering society two and a half years from now. Because these are not, I repeat, not, good people.

TMI

2008-02-17T01:35:00.003-05:00

Since 2004, students all over the world have been able to network online within his or her respective colleges breeding an obsessive frenzy on what goes on in his or her fellow colleagues' lives. Facebook. Yes, there were other sites such as Friendster, Myspace and, dare I say, Xanga. But these sites, did not have the allure of "privacy" within its own community. The creator of Facebook cleverly made sure that only people with college email addresses were able to log onto this site and view profiles. The other sites still did not enable this function. For years, I've used facebook and all its glory. People from when I was 4 popped back up into my life. People that I went to happy hour with suddenly became my "friend." While it was slightly annoying that I had to "de-tag" or privatize my inappropriate pictures in fear that future employers would not judge me based on my undergraduate discretions, I, like my fellow classmates, became obsessed with checking it multiple times a day.

Unfortunately, (and you may think dramatically), I have finally experienced the adverse effect of facebook on me and my life.

Yesterday, I happily checked facebook like any other day. I noted who I should make sure to wish Happy Birthday to and made sure I didn't have any outstanding notifications such as friend requests or wall postings. Then, clear as day, on the newsfeed glared back at me: [My ex-boyfriend] has been listed as "in a relationship." Blinking twice, I stupidly clicked on his profile and received confirmation that yes, facebook can actually reach out of my computer and slap me in the face. Now, before you sit there and judge me for even "caring" or hell, still being his friend on facebook, in my defense, I believed wholeheartedly that I was fine being the bigger person and staying friends with him.

Notwithstanding that I split my anger between the website and this boy. First of all, finally, I'm annoyed with the damn newsfeed. Is it truly necessary to broadcast such things all over the internet? I suppose that question is directed at him as well. I fail to recognize how it's possible to quickly jump into another relationship after we just ended ours (finally) after many many many years. Secondly, I'm not stupid. How cliche can you be to become official with your new girlfriend on facebook the day after Valentine's Day? (Please note that due to the Lenten season, I've refrained from adding my normal blunt and more than likely true adjectives before the word "girlfriend.") Lastly, ARE YOU REALLY THAT INSENSITIVE TO BROADCAST THAT YOU'RE IN A BRAND NEW RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT GIVING ME A HEADS UP? For the record, he emailed me with all the "fantastic" things going on his life. A good idea would have been, oh by the way, we're official and facebook makes it that way. Fuck you. And fuck facebook.

Yes, I know it sounds stupid and even childish. But I don't care. Facebook officially became my part nemesis. Something needs to be done with that Newsfeed because it gave me too.much.information. And yes, the immature bitch in me already removed all of HIS friends we have in common. Next step? Removing him. I wish there was a way to display on the newsfeed, "Angelica has deleted you as a friend on facebook. She says fuck you." I mean, why not? If the newsfeed can broadcast what people order from blockbuster online, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to publicly tell your exboyfriend how he's an inconsiderate asshole.

Oh right, thats why I have this blog.

Beezy

2008-02-10T04:14:00.000-05:00

Beezy: Another word for "bitch" made popular by Mac Dre (Bay Area represent!)
Synonyms: bitch, hoe, slut, skank, hooker, ugly, whore, fake, female dog

My lovely roommate introduced me to this term back in August and it has creeped up in my vernacular. I've pondered what a beezy would mean to me. And now, thanks to facebook, I've come up with the perfect example.

While it is somewhat nice and mature that my ex-boyfriend and I are "friends," it's still jarring to see someone move on - especially when he tagged himself with the new girl. Of course the "new" me (i.e. the one who made a resolution to be chill about life in 2008) says "great for him!" But, as we all know, old habits die hard.

So, on my story goes. Once he tagged a picture of him with this new girl, I became obsessed with figuring out who she was and looking at other pictures that her friends stupidly keep open on facebook. (If anyone knows her, someone might want to suggest privatizing all those pictures. Making out with girls, taking bong hits and wearing trashtacular outfits may not be the best way to get a job in Washington, D.C. come graduation.)

But I digress.

In my facebook stalking fury, I came across a bunch of pictures with who I can only assume is new girl's best friend. I sat there and thought, "[Best friend's name] where have I seen that before? Hmm.. where have I... oh my God." I go back to my recently added friends and see that the new girl's best friend requested me as a friend on facebook!

In my haste, I just assumed that she was part of my sorority. Sometimes the younger girls like to facebook some of the older sisters, especially if they are in the same "phamily." Upon further review, the friend's we have in common are not from my chapter and that she was actually part of another sorority. And then, it dawned on me: I duped into being facebook stalked!

What I want to know is, why is it so pertinent to see my profile? As a law student, you're really not going to get much from me except my facebook pictures. And believe me, after living in Orange County, I've meticulously combed over my "tagged" pictures to make sure that I don't look ugly, fat or trashy. This means, if you're trying to find dirt, you're not going to find it there. Furthermore, I am sure, that you - the reader - might be thinking (rightfully so) that I'm a huge hypocrite.

However, I feel justified in saying that at the very least I don't send my friends to facebook this new girlfriend. I mean for the love of God, light facebook stalking and bitching on the phone to your friends - NORMAL. I think 5 years of being in a relationship gives me a little bit of leeway of losing some form of sanity.

Point? I have finally been able to say without a doubt that I can finally apply what I've learned in California to my past life in DC. Girl who facebooked me, by way of my exboyfriend's new girl, is a beezy. And all the synonyms duly apply.

New Year. New Semester.

2008-01-07T01:14:00.000-05:00

A new semester begins tomorrow and, sadly, it's not the copious amounts of reading I have that I dread. Ah to go to school in Orange County with some of these people. I would bet my loan check reimbursement that the same shallow vapid people arrive in their designer clothes with their noses turned up and us peasants who don't meet their qualifications of being spoken to. You know who i'm talking about. The people who honestly believe that what they wear and how much makeup they apply will thoroughly increase their grades.

[For the record we only received 2 grades to date.] Now, generally speaking, it does bother me that these people don't really believe acknowledging my presence isn't worth their time because I don't own anything Chanel or Juicy Couture or i'm not a tall hot blonde. However, I did a lot of reflecting over the break after the year I had and this is what I've come up with:

a.) Even though it bothers me that not everyone likes me, why should I really care? Is it really important to deplete my wallet in order to impress others? No. I can use that cash to engage in fun activities such as drinking, eating, and going to Disneyland.

b.) I mean really, the girls I am referencing are actually ugly heifers. And that includes on the inside.

c.) There are people who I want in my life. It is in my control as to who is and who isn't in it. And why would I want their negative energy? As my sister would say, "bad juju"

d.) I would like to point out and acknowledge that I am just like them in judging. In my defense though, I will always believe that I don't like people because my heart tells me that they are bad people. If God gave me one gift, it is definitely that ability. Judging just means i'm human. And my judgments are only harshly negative when these assholes piss me off. :)

Either way, I hope I can fight the machine. I've made a resolution to stop playing into the OC stereotypes and stop watching so much junk. Ah back to the good ole days when I watched the news in the morning, not E! And there's so much to watch this year in the news with the elections rapidly approaching.

Stay tuned for details on my first day and my trip to DC for New Years 2008.

And, of course, Welcome to 2008!

In the interim:

2007-12-19T20:56:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my last final of my first semester. I still have yet to figure out if I'm coming to DC for New Years. Oh well. In the meantime: Jamie Lynne Spears is pregnant.

And of course the media will glorify her and her 16-year-old pregnancy.

I only thank God that my 14 year old sister doesn't watch Nickelodeon. Or she would think it would be cool to get pregnant. Come on people, teach your children about safe sex for the love of God.

The latest and greatest.

2007-12-10T19:15:00.001-05:00

Law school finals tend to make people go crazy in ways unimaginable. For example, groups of friends break up over the Erie Doctrine explanation, couples (in law school and not in law school) start to fight excessively, and everyone looks like you shot their puppy in the face. For me, i've effectively thrown myself into studying because it seemed a lot more fun than actually dealing with life and real world. The nervous breakdowns only arise whenever I see my fellow overachieving classmates saunter into my study room with their color-coded, bound outlines. Ok, really? Obviously you would have rather click "font color" than review the meaning of consideration. And where the hell are you getting the cash for BINDING YOUR 40 PAGE OUTLINE?!

Two days until my first final and I can say that I've studied in every room on campus since the beginning of the year. As reading/study period starts to wane, the level of panic seems to increase and all I can think about is: My plane ticket to DC is going to be very, very expensive for New Year's.

Yes folks, I have not purchased a flight that will take me across the country to celebrate the most disappointing holiday of the year. Therein lies where I've ignored all my problems. First of all, on its face, it does not appear as if anyone has a place for me to stay. Second of all, friends that I want to see may or may not be in town. And lastly, I don't want stir up bad memories and feelings to inundate me before I return for spring semester.

So, question of the day: Should I come to Washington, D.C. to ring in 2008? Or maybe I should just stay in my parents house, pop a sleeping pill and thank God that 2007 is over and be grateful that I got through it alive.

"Sometimes I look at her and wonder 'why is she even here'?"

2007-11-07T20:11:00.000-05:00

Law school invites many types of people, mostly competitve and usually without direction in life. I find that, usually, these people are the creme de la creme of obnoxiousness. While you find few people in school who don't vex or annoy you, I know that usually, I want to throttle some, if not a majority, of my classmates.

Cliques are especially interesting to observe. For example, there are a group of girls who are in my CCR fellowship program. I was going to call them the Blonde Brigade but not all are blonde, so let's call them the Moral Patrol or even better, God's Property (GP). At first, I despised these girls and not because they were super Christian (in fact, that makes me actually kind of like them so long as they are not hypocritical about it), but because they were associated with one girl who has been nothing but rude and superior since I met her. For all intents and purposes we'll name her Princess.

Princess is a special type of law student. She apparently has a modicum of intelligence, or so I'm told by her friends because she's able to speed read through our cases. I have yet to figure out if this proves to be true. My favorite part about her is the fact that she speaks down upon people with such a Napolean complex and I find her to be completely average as a human being. Newsflash Princess: Just because you live in the Hills and wear Chanel earrings, it doesn't mean you're going to do well in law school or that you're even better, generally, than your fellow colleagues. For the love of God, you're fat and you date a man 20 years your senior. That's disgusting. (Note: she's 22 and boyfriend is 43. Yes, I am totally judging her.)

I believe that Princess has a problem speaking to people respectfully. Her tone and mannerisms are completely out of line and if I wasn't afraid of damaging my legal career I would probably bitchslap her all the way back to the second grade - because that's how this heifer acts. Anyway, it would be interesting to see how Princess will do. The competitive person in me hopes she'll fail out, however, that same competitive person in me will hope that she will be a worthy adversary behind her expensive clothes, average mind and alleged holier-than-thou ways. Either way, it'll be fun to rile her up insidiously (or not so insidiously when she riles me up). I mean, hey, I have to entertain myself for at least two and a half more years at this school, right?

Threes.

2007-10-09T22:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday may or may not have been one of the worst days I've experienced in my life. I'm a believer in threes. Good, bad, ugly things that happen in threes.

1.) Someone apparently wanted to steal my money and credit cards. I was in the library all weekend and somehow, it was ok to just take all of it out of my wallet when I left it unattended. Nice.

2.) The school heard about the skeevy 2L's bar review assault on me and want to hold disciplinary actions against him. So on top of my first semester, I have to go in, explain how i'm petrified of being on campus because I don't want to run into a boy that bit my ear, grabbed my tit and pinned me against the bar while drinking with my fellow colleagues.

oh wait but it gets better.

3.) My very wonderful and loving second family in Orlando has been hit with such awfulness that I can't even bring myself to say it or even think about it. My parents used to double date with their best friends, Patrick and Leeza who subsequently all got married at the same time. They, like my parents, produced 3 children: Myk, 24, Abigail, 21, Raymond, 16. [Ages look familiar?] It was always our parents dream to all end up together (well minus Emily and Abby) - Who wouldnt want their children to marry their best friends children? And Myk and I were always very close. (Granted, it would never had happen - Myk and I were never attracted to each other). Unfortunately, and sadly, that would never happen as Myk died a few days ago. I won't speculate or even explain what happened but know this: my devastation is insurmountable and I grieve. I grieve for Pat, Leeza, Abby and Ray. I grieve for my 23 years of memories with Myk. I pray that he's in a better place.

And I hope, no matter what, that he finally rests in peace.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day." - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"Ow. Why is your elbow in my sternum?"

2007-10-05T15:42:00.000-04:00

At our second bar review (happy hour... er, 5 hours) I happened to be accosted by numerous types of sketchy men who also (sadly) happened to be fellow schoolmates. This is why it is not ok to humor male strangers who happen to be hitting on you.

I was always told that when we go out, I was not the nice one. If someone came up to hit on us group of girls, I would be agitated and annoyed and would proceed to blatantly ignore or refute any advances. Last night, since I was in the company of my colleagues, I decided "Hey, shed the bitch face." Bad idea.

Why you ask?

Because then you leave open 2L's who TRY TO BITE YOUR EAR OFF (literally) when you're trying to have a normal conversation. I think my favorite line was "if you don't want me in public, i can find someplace private. Like the bathroom."

Really? REALLY? I may have "1L" written all over my face but contrary to popular belief, I am not wearing a sign that says "stupid" or, even better, "have your way with me."

Imagine this: I'm trying to talk to this 2L and we're against the wall opposite the bar. Every single time he steps in closer, I take a step back. Next thing I know, my beer that was resting on the ledge about 10 feet away and I'm backed up against the wall. What was I supposed to do? I was trying to be nice and next thing I know this bastard has got me pinned against the wall telling him to get off of me. You know he knew too, especially since he kept saying "Ow, you're hurting me, can you move your elbow? Why is it in my sternum?" Me: "Because I want you to get off of me now!" Finally, two friends realized what was going on and intervened but not after his lack of trying to get me to go with him to the bathroom, then a corner of the bar, then finally, his place. Ew. Ew. Ew. Worst part? He's in my children's advocacy certification program. I don't know which frightens me more, the fact that the next 2 years we'll be in the same program or the fact that he's going to be actively working with children.

Moral of the story? Sometimes it's just easier to be branded the bitch than to fight off a creepy upperclassman who still continues to stalk you after you elbow him in the sternum and knee him in the groin.

Babble

2007-10-03T02:47:00.001-04:00

A few random thoughts:
1.) Apparently V wanted to write a rebuttal to my argument on dating in law school. While I see his point that he would like to date in law school because its actually a good time to do so, I think he missed my argument that life as a 1L should not be limited to just dating your classmates.

2.) I have a sick obsession with Vanessa Hudgens' debacle. I'm pretty partial towards High School Musical 1 and 2 and its stars. I think it's pretty sad that someone is pretty much terrorizing her career. And I seem to be reading a rumor that she was 16/17 when she took those pictures. Read: just because she's a celebrity - it does not excuse her right to protection as a minor; publishing those pictures can still be considered child pornography.

My real bone to pick with Vanessa (and with Vanessa Minnillo) is the fact that I love how celebrities of Filipino descent try to hide it by saying "i'm a mix of all these random ethnic groups: [fill in every minute blood line in here]" and then you see them with their parents and it screams "FILIPINO". Like seriously? Saying you're not Filipino (or half Filipino) doesn't change it. Get over it. If anything, you should be proud: there's so much fantastic history in the Philippines. A female president, martial law, rice plantations, PEOPLE POWER. And if it's image you're so concerned with, where else are you going to find women that look like Filipinos. The exoticism is astounding. Some have small frames. Others have boobs that people in Hollywood would kill for. Some are light skinned. Other are dark. Some look Asiatic, others look Hispanic. The mixture is unique and should not be shunned.

Which leads me to point 3 of the night:
3.) Filipinos are ridiculous. And I mean that in every sense of the word. For example, where else can you find crazy huge families that tell you that you're fat but yet try to stuff you with food. Conversely, where else can you find a people power so deeply rooted in our being and history that they DARE write a petition against ABC for the off color remark that the character of Susan Meyer made in the premiere of "Desperate Housewives." Of course young celebrities like Hudgens and Minnilo are hesitant to discuss their ethnic backgrounds. The implication of going to a "med school in the Philippines" shows that Filipinos educated in their native country of the Philippines are less valuable than their American counterparts. The further implication shows that this culture is still primitive and should not be regarded equally with the rest of America.

The context and content of the quote is only shocking because the target audience did not expect a remark like that to be cleared through the network given the recent history on the set of Greys Anatomy. It has been brought up that perhaps a politically incorrect remark like this is a slap in the face because the viewer did not expect it and the type of viewer has a different humor than one who watches "Family Guy" or the "Simpsons." Personally, I reacted a couple seconds too late and didn't know if I should laugh or just move on. Then I realized indignantly that my father went to medical school in the Philippines and he is a damn good doctor. Also, now the writers of the show have proven (much so against my arguments and protests on this issue) my father's point exactly, "As an immigrant, you have to work 200% to be equal with your American counterparts." And thanks to ABC, my father seems to painfully and begrudgingly (on my part) be right.

Dreaming with a Broken Heart

2007-10-02T02:51:00.000-04:00

Some people in this life have been so lucky to find love. Similarily, people have been so lucky to have their hearts broken. First loves and broken hearts change a person. For the better or worse, there is a change. Those who know what I'm saying here, agree.

The hardest part is letting it go. You can't keep chasing an illusion of what once was. And prolonging the inevitable just makes that feeling of brokenheartedness that much more painful. Rip the band aid off. Internalize the anger and pain and move on.

And as sure as the day is long, don't look back. Because I can assure you, he's not chasing you.

In fact, I can bet money that he hasn't even realized that you stopped chasing him.

Homesick

2007-10-01T02:44:00.000-04:00

When people say they're homesick, are they sick for their home or the illusion of what their home used to be?

I have a feeling that I just can't shake. It's not happiness, but its not quite misery. And don't tell me its that 1L fear of God bullsh*t. I know i'm not supposed to know everything there is to know about law school. Lord knows veteran attorneys don't know how to survive: unless you count advice on switching off between coffee and alochol as "survival." Hm...

Anyway, when I first arrived in Costa Mesa, I found myself missing DC more than I would like to disclose. Then I made friends, and now, I just long for a night where I can leave my apartment, walk up the dreaded hill in Courthouse and hang out at Ragtime until I got bored. But can we say I'm homesick? Can we chalk it up to lonliness? Or perhaps I'm just so stressed with school that I just want things to be the way they were?

To be honest, I have no idea. I just know that everytime I want to talk to someone familiar, its late at night pacific standard time, so you know its late where you folks are at. I miss going out on the weekends, playing kickball, impromptu happy hours, Football at Summers, sitting outside the Arlington Courthouse smoking/conversing, making money, Metro and most importantly, all of you. I miss the familiarity of DC life and I want it back.

I may have been born and raised in the Bay Area, but I would give anything right now to come home.

L-Date

2007-09-07T03:15:00.000-04:00

I was pretty fortunate to enter law school with an abundance of advice from people who had gone through the torture and survived to tell tales. Regardless, I was pretty shocked to realize that not ONLY did the amount of work sucked, but apparently higher education was synonymous with high school education.

Now, my parents - fearing for my education and inherently knowing how boy crazy I was - put me into an all girls Catholic high school. Life there was ridiculously drama free and comfortable. So, imagine my discomfort, when its the end of my third week of school (4th week if you count orientation) and my fellow colleagues mention how high school it is that my newfound group of friends are starting to "court" each other.

Yes, I said it. Court. Gross.

People, how many times do I have to tell you: Law school isn't your personal dating service. I am aware of those couples that have met and fell in love in law school and are married with a million children and more grandchildren and want to spend the rest of their lives together, blah blah blah. I don't know about you, but I went to law school to ... I don't know... some day become a lawyer. Not find my future husband. If I knew I was spending $150K on that, then I would have just hired my own personal male prostitute and called it a day.

Why I think dating your classmate is a bad idea:

1.) In my recent experience, people in my class are honestly starting to date. Not just "hook up" like the culture is back in undergrad. Like go on dates and call each other and other time consuming that budding couples do. Now I don't know about you, but WHERE are you finding the time for this? I barely have time to freaking write this blog entry. You must be a genius because I definitely don't understand what I'm studying and I have a feeling that taking the time to bat my eyelashes at the guy i'm hoping will asking me out will not help me understand the material any more than it would be to sleep with the book under my pillow.

2.) It has also been ingrained in me that in order to get a good job after graduation, you have to do well. Well, law school is competitive. For some ungodly reason, law schools grade on a curve and only allot a certain amount of A's, B's, C's etc. per year. Personally, I think it's a ploy to make you pay for a therapist after you get your first semester grades. Even so, you are COMPETING for the top grades in your class. That means, while you're playing footsies under the library desk, you fail to recognize that statistically one of you will be getting that coveted high grade of a "B" in Civil Procedure. Either you're looking at the end of the semester with some serious blinders or this truly is a brilliant ploy to sabatoge your potential significant other.

3.) $$$$. Like all new couples, you want to do things together. Like eat out, go to movies, perhaps take weekend trips and buy nice things for each other. I hope you realize that if you end up marrying your significant other that your relationship has officially gained interest in the past 3 years. I don't think the school accounted the aforementioned activities in "extra living expenses."

Disclaimer: I completely understand that most people in law school will become close thanks to the fact that law school is ostensibly a cult. I know that with my new group of friends we're always planning to do something together... after spending 9-5 classes together everyday. It's almost like we never get sick of each other. Scary, right? So, it's not out of the realm of possibility for two people of the opposite sex who happen to spend a lot of time together to find their way to each other. But I mean really? Must you subject others to your lovey dovey flirting during football? Lunch? I mean come on. I'm halfway through my sandwich before I give up eating because the goo goo eyes make me want to goo goo into your lunch bag.

Resistance is Futile.

2007-09-05T05:48:00.000-04:00

I can't decide if the next 4 words are something to be proud of: I'm becoming "that girl".

Now, in this day and age (and of course in my judgmental mind), "that girl" means a lot of things. There's "that girl" in my class who uses a fake English accent to speak even though she was abroad for like a hot second. You're from California, lady, get over it. There's "that girl" who (still) gets on my nerves because I truly believe she was trying to hook up with everyone in our class. (You're still a whore.) There's "that girl" who acts like she's entitled to the best grades because she's the shotgunner. You know. The one who always has her hand up. God. Shut up already, not even the Professor will call on you.

Thankfully, I'm not (hopefully) becoming any of the above. It doesn't alleviate my fear of becoming that person who leaves the place she used to call home (DC) and moves somewhere new kicking and screaming only to become a completely acclimated clone of her surrounding people. Back in DC, simple things (haha) like politics and CNN and Happy Hour in Dupont Circle are what interested me. Meeting people on my kickball team who had dreams and ambitions and really cool jobs are what interested me. Making my ex roommate put on my make up because I was too lazy and horrible at it, was my way of "getting ready" to go out.

Now? I spend an hour getting ready for class. AN HOUR. Why? I don't know. It's sick and twisted. I spend even longer getting ready to go out. Jesus Christ, I spend time getting ready to go to the effing gym!

I'm still interested in politics but I haven't even picked up a newspaper since I've moved. Drinking in moderation has lost its appeal and now when I drink, it's to get d-r-u-n-k because I have so limited time to do so.

Instead i'm even more so obsessed with my body image (which, let me tell you, is GREAT for my self esteem) and I'd rather watch "the Hills" than CNN. And i'm starting to think that i'm experiencing the high school experience my public co-ed school counterparts experienced when I was in high school. Am I totally regressing to the age of 16? Is that possible considering that I didn't go to my local high school and was able to experience all women's education? Should I let it go and just bask in it? I mean is this my subconscious way of rewarding myself for reading 200 pages a week? Am I going to turn into a vapid valley girl?

All I ask is that the people of DC take pity on me when I come to visit. I'm trying to resist the urges to fully acclimate (mind you, I haven't gone surfing just yet - and really, everyone I know here surfs. No, really.) but if I come back to DC with blond hair and fake boobs, I will totally be judging myself.

And don't deny it, you will be too.

Bite the hand that feeds you?

2007-08-29T02:37:00.000-04:00

Because I didn't have cable hooked up for a long time, I found myself well acquainted with my roommate's entire collection of Sex and the City. In the era of Housewives, Greys and Bravo TV, I found it refreshing to watch a show that originated blatant hookups, chicks before dicks and complicated relationships. Never have I ever thought I would actually be relating to it.

There are times where I feel like Carrie. She has a Mr. Big who she's been in a complicated, back and forth relationship with for 6 years. She always feels second best because he can't commit to her and he has a problem saying no to other needy girls. However, she loves him and doesn't know how to let that go. They remain good friends and more than that off and on. She dates other men and can't commit to them even though Big commits to other women over her and causes her chase him all the time. But in the end, she ends up with him because he rescues her from a dreadful relationship in Paris after he realizes that she will always be there to catch him when he falls blah blah blah. And they have a fabulous life. Sigh.

Now, I'm not one to talk about personal business here but let's focus on the having a problem saying "no" to other needy girls. Let's say, there is a boy and a girl who are/were classmates. I'll keep the code name Boy for boy but let's call girl: bitchface who needs liposuction.

Ok so bitchface has been nothing but a piece of shit bloodsucking whore who desperately wants Boy to be her Boyfriend. Now, this bitch used Boy to do her every whim, called him whenever HE WAS IN BED WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND at 2am because she needed someone to cry to, and constantly tried to make him see that she was much better than what he had. All the while, she wanted him to think she was still better than him by making him feel bad for receiving a high honor that she thought she deserved. Ahh but I digress.

Apparently, last weekend Boy and Bitchface had a little makeout session much to this writer's chagrin. And the little fat heifer bit him. YES, she BIT him. Now, I can't tell if this is some sort of poetic justice: Newsflash to boy - if she's going to bite your lip, imagine what else could PAINFULLY HAPPEN with that mouth in other places. I mean, bitch drew blood for the love of God. Ok, so I could be a little harsh because I'm biased and this bitch has been the bane of my existence for over a year, BUT I mean, come on. YOU BIT HIM. And I'm sure you're going to go running to him crying about how sorry you are and how you're going to profess your undying love for him or some bullshit like that but let's be honest, you did it for a reason. Whether it be subconscious or not, you did it for a reason. And maybe this writer should be mad at Boy. But I've learned to be patient. He may always choose to take care of her business over mine. He may not. He may have facebook pictures with her looking like a couple. Or he may realize (finally) that she's CRAZY and untag them because you are who your friends are. Either way, I guess I'll have to wait until she bites... down there for him to see that she will always bite the hand that feeds her.

Michael Vick v. Alberto Gonzales

2007-08-28T15:57:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I received a text message at 5:30am PST. In the glare of my phone, the text "the ag resigned" immediately woke me out of my deep slumber. I jumped out of bed to turn on the news. Tidbits on CNN were showing the Main Justice Building followed by copious amounts of commercials. Frustrated, I turned to the local news.

Does anyone in Orange County know who Alberto Gonzales is/was? Apparently not. The local channels have their weather girls in evening gowns and the big story of the morning was not the resignation of the most contested U.S. Attorney General in recent history but on diet foods. DIET FOODS IN THE SUPERMARKET. Really? Really?

Flipping back to CNN, I forlornly tried to find anything that would show something about good old Al. At least it got some substantial press time from 6-8am PST. There were some good interviews with the head of the Judiciary Committee as well as most of the Senators that gave Gonzo some good flak for his testimonies in the past few months.

Then for the rest of the day, it was all about Michael Vick and his puppy killing ways. Ok, ok. I understand, puppy killers = NOT GOOD PEOPLE. But the ATTORNEY GENERAL resigned. Another vacancy in the Bush Cabinet! His loyal followers are starting to drop like flies and no one cares! Maybe I'm just pissed because I wanted to be there when it happened. Maybe we would have gotten a day off? Oh right. Every day is a day off for me these days. Or not. I'd rather be paid right now as opposed to being a poor law student who lives in an area where you have to be all done up to give a weather report. (Sorry guys, contrary to popular belief, the weather girls here don't wear bikinis. I repeat, they do not wear bikinis.)

I guess I should be happy that at least it was about Vick and what a horrible person he is for killing 6-8 dogs and not about Lindsay Lohan back in rehab or some shit like that. 6-8 dogs! Ugh. I think I might just throw up.

I survived my first week and all I got was Pinkeye.

2007-08-26T21:02:00.000-04:00

Yup, that's right. Pinkeye. Now, first of all, who gets pinkeye over the age of 13?!?!?

I pray that this is the icing on the cake of unfortunate events that lead me to the end of my first week of law school.

1.) DOJ still hasn't paid me. Thank God I'm learning how to sue the Government. I'll get stuck in red tape and tons of papers, never be able to work the DOJ ever again, spend a ton of money on litigation and all because Human Resources is retarded. Plain and simple. RETARDED.

2.) My lenders have decided to move at a glacial place in disbursing my loans. After calling and checking every day, apparently the stress of everything that's gone on took its toll on Friday and I burst into tears at the financial aid office - babbling something about not being able to eat. Blah blah blah. Yes, I am totally judging myself.

3.) Dell Computer still hasn't even BEGUN to send my stupid laptop to me. And of course, I need it for my Legal Writing course since we have to buy E-Books now. Whatever happened to good old fashioned textbooks??? At least I got a free printer out of Dell. I still have half a mind to fly to whatever third world country they outsource their customer care providers from and seriously wringing his or her neck.

4.) I was switched in and out of sections on the first day. Of COURSE my schedule would be changed around last minute. Why WOULDN'T that happen? Forget that all the books I bought were already marked up. Forget that I did all the HW for the first day. And of course, after talking to the Dean of Student Affairs and going to all the wrong classes the first day, this switch was in error. Ahhh red tape, I swim in you.

5.) I have pinkeye. I mean, really? It's not enough that the aforementioned are still clouding up my mind. But I have to wake up with my eyes swollen shut. Nevermind that I have at least 50 pages of reading a night, how the hell am I supposed to put make up on? You act like I can leave the house without makeup. This is Orange County for the love of God. I'm lucky I even got into the bars here with my real boobs. (Which mind you are fantastic on the East Coast but less than average here in the OC.)

Seriously, where am I?

Orientation

2007-08-16T20:39:00.000-04:00

Now, for my own sake, I was told to give people a chance. (You know who you are.) Done and done.

It's only my 4th day of orientation and I feel like I've been here for 3 weeks! The amount of forced socializing is overflowing and of course, you have to be nice to your fellow colleagues because you don't want to be coined as that "pretentious bitch."

I am that pretentious bitch. Or maybe just cynical. Or maybe I'm just not meant to be in the OC. Let me break it down for you.

A.) Apparently, it is customary to show up on your first day of Orientation in a dress that could be almost considered ballroom formal. (Note this makes you an attention WHORE). See, the trick is to make sure you show enough fake cleavage and that the fabric clings to your ass. And believe me, after being here for a week and a half I can officially spot fake tits. They're everywhere!

B.) It is also customary to get a bunch of your fellow guy classmate's numbers and text them constantly in hopes to get laid. You know, like casting a wide fishing net and praying you get a piece of ass, er, trout. Now, I am all about a woman's right to "spit game" to whomever she pleases to. But really, this is law school, not an effing dating service. This makes you a WHORE.

C.) The aforementioned is also true in the reverse. Newsflash, penis or not, this still makes you a WHORE.

D.) Sometimes, in order to be well liked in law school, you have to keep your mouth shut. It's really sad when you have already been coined "that guy" who will not shut up in class causing your fellow colleagues to start keeping a tally of just how many times you will speak about something inane to show the professor that you have a modicum of intelligence. NEWSFLASH: This makes you a PARTICIPATION WHORE.

Ahh yes, orientation. The art of acclimating to your school and classmates. From what I can see, I may honestly be the most chaste person in my class.

Now THAT is a scary thought.

Misery

2007-08-12T20:26:00.000-04:00

Question: Why was it so painful to drive 6 hours down to Orange Country from Fremont when I've done longer road trips back East without a hint of crankiness?

Answer: Because I was with my parents.

It's been a couple days since I put my parents on a plane back to Fremont. Oddly enough, I've actually missed them. Or maybe, I just missed the familiarity of someone here in Costa Mesa. I think they felt awkward when they (my parents) realized that I actually didn't want to be here.

On Friday, a good friend from back home (home being D.C. of course) came out to visit. Conveniently enough, his dad lives about 45 minutes away from me and he happened to do what I did but in reverse. Fly into SoCal in order to drive the horrific 6 hours to NorCal. I don't know which is worse - driving alone or driving with my parents.

Driving with my parents.

Anyway, Thursday was probably the first day that I haven't cried. Baby steps? I think so. Unfortunately, it's not getting any easier. Apparently Dell Computers has estimated that they will ship my computer to me on 9/7/07. Yup, that's not a typo. SEPTEMBER 7TH. That's like 3 weeks after school starts and definitely over a month since I ordered the little piece of shit. I blame all the people who recommended it. And of course every time I call I get some idiot who's probably my third cousin once removed in the Philippines. F* that. I want my stupid computer.
Secondly and probably most importantly, the Department of Justice still hasn't paid me my final paycheck. Now, explain this to me: In a government agency that rarely goes off routine, why, WHY would something as simple as a final electronic disbursement be difficult to do? Oh right. BECAUSE ITS THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. As if they hadn't screwed me over enough already by asking me to work late hours and give up weekends and holidays, they just happen to forget to pay me. Bitches, you owe me at LEAST a grand and a half. Pay up.

In all fairness, my attitude on life in the OC is starting to look a little less gloomy. Like I said, my friend came to visit and we had a blast. My roommate and I went to the beach yesterday and it was gorgeous. The weather was nice, the people were beautiful and there was a couple sitting no more than 20 feet from me smoking a joint.

How can I not like California? (No, really, please convince me.)

Vacation? What's that?

2007-08-03T20:46:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I think I'm not meant to take a sweet vacation. I've just returned from my cruise to Mexico (Cabo San Lucas!) and all I can say is... the cabin's tv was a fantastic view.

I flew home to California on Friday, July 27th. As luck would have it, I would get incredibly sick on July 26th with a fever of 102.5. Meanwhile, at this point, I was nowhere near done with packing. So, thankfully, CB was gracious enough to volunteer to pack my things for me as i lay in delirium in bed. He begged me to go to the hospital but my parents insisted to wait until I got back to California so they can hook it up with some sweet drugs. (Note: this was only under special and emergency circumstances. Normally, my father does not really "hook" it up.)

Then, because my parents promised me that the antibiotics would clear up my strep in 2 days, I embarked on a cruise to Mexico as my final vacation before my prison sentence. Oh, excuse me, "law school".

BAD IDEA.

I was sick the entire time. My fever broke the first day and then I got sick AGAIN with 102 degrees. I couldnt eat. I was too much in pain to sleep. I just lay in a windowless cabin with my two sisters watching my stories in Espanol.

Oh well. I can always try for next Summer? Or maybe when/if I get married I can convince my husband to take a year off and travel the world. I want a vacation damnit!

Free at last, Free at last

2007-07-20T16:00:00.000-04:00

Today was my last day at the DOJ. As I can see, my last post was a little bit ago. As an update: I quit my job because I decided to go to law school back in California. The entire week was pretty bittersweet. Well wishers came out of the woodwork. People who didn't give me the time of day because I didn't finish my name with the coveted "J.D." now want to disburse ample advice to ensure my success. Clearly they don't remember when they sent me an email to walk all the way over by his or her office to pick up a piece of paper he or she printed out and set it on his or her desk.

But I digress.

This week made me F-A-T. Lunches, Happy Hours, Cakes. I almost don't want to leave. Almost. Clearly, this is indicative of an abusive relationship. For 2 years I worked no less than 50-60 hours a week. I came in on weekends, holidays and even canceled vacations just to stay and work with very little appreciation. My supervisor terrorized me. My attorneys were demanding. And I bared garnered respect from fellow coworkers who were "younger" than me but thought they were "better" than me because of where they were placed in the office. The end result? Cake. And a DOJ Seal signed by my colleagues. Oh, and a very expensive hardbound Black's Law Dictionary.

Would I go back? Perhaps. What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment. That and I kept my benefits active so that I can bank that shit when I retire. But in all seriousness, I learned a lot, I made great connections with the attorneys I worked with and I was privileged to work on some of the stuff I did work on. Goodbye DOJ and Alberto. See you in a few years... maybe.

p.s. For those who believe that Gov't workers don't work: please see me. I'll straighten you out.

Devil in a Blue Dress

2007-05-18T14:13:00.000-04:00

Today, the Attorney General released a memo congratulating DOJ employees on making the grade in the "Best Places to Work in the Federal Government". Apparently my division, Environment and Natural Resources, made number 2 on said list of "Best Places." Now, i've been happy working at my job for almost 2 years, don't get me wrong. However, if someone were to ask me to help them get into my section, I would tell them to run for the goddamn hills. This office is poorly run and some people just shouldn't be managers.

For example. My supervisor, Nancy (code name), is a cold heartless 40 something year old bitch. The sad part is, she's a cold heartless bitch without a brain to make up for her emotionless inadequacy. For a woman who barely has a high school degree, she likes to get off making most (if not all) of our lives a living hell. Case in point. I'm supposed to be on annual leave (or vacation for you private sector folk) from May 29th to June 1st. This bitch, comes up to me and says "You're the 4th person to be out that week." What the FUCK am I supposed to say to that? "Yes, [Nancy], you're right."

"Well, I don't think it's right for you to be out. Don't you have a lot of work to get through? You're the 4th person to be out. And, knowing you, you'll be sick when you get back. Don't you dare get sick on me again."

Excuse me? Thank God for proper documentation from my doctors. YOU judge ME when all you do is talk about how your fucking kids have a "headache" in the morning and thats why you SAUNTER into the office at 11am? AND LEAVE AT 4PM? IT IS YOUR FUCKING JOB to find someone to take over my immediate projects. YOU HIRED 3 EXTRA PEOPLE FOR THAT PURPOSE. I like to think that i'm good at my job. But really, you can find someone else to make a goddamn binder. I was unaware that my presence was needed for something so fucking important.

Now, the thing people don't realize with Nancy and myself is that she's been doing this to me since I started working here. The reason why it hasn't escalated greatly is because Brown showed up to be HER supervisor and ultimately, my boss. Brown is great. He'll fix everything. Unfortunately, he's out of town and will return on Monday. But this is not how an office should run. This shouldn't BE like Cinderella with her wicked stepmother (although I'm sure the wicked stepmother had more education than this heifer) torturing her while her father is away on business. The sentiment in this office with that is pretty rampant. Turnover is high. I've heard stories of people just getting up, shutting down his or her computer and leaving in the middle of the day never more to return.

So, the big question amongst us is, where the hell was this survey and why weren't we allowed to partake in it? Is it because the higher management took it and lied? Is it because they surveyed the Environmental Crimes Section who, like Lazy Nancy, also come in at 10am and leave at 4:30? (Yes, that is your taxpaying dollars, people - and yes, they get paid full time.) I do know one thing. That survey did NOT reflect the opinions of the people in the Natural Resources Section. Attorneys and support staff alike wonder, "Who filled out this survey?" My guess? Probably good ol' Al. But if you ask him, he probably wouldn't recall if that ever happened.

This is what happens when your parents don't use birth control.

2007-05-14T18:25:00.000-04:00

So my baby sister (read: not really a baby anymore but always a baby to me - awwww) has become a teenager and is trying to find herself. 6 months ago I happened to stumble upon our other sister's YouTube account only to watch, in shock and utter amusement, Julia (my baby sister) give a Dance Dance Revolution tutorial. Or maybe it was just to show off her skills. Either way, I didn't think I was ever going to laugh that hard again.

Until today.

Now, I love my sisters. They're very unique and although a lot of people say they can't ever imagine us sharing any sort of genetic markers, the one thing we share is the intense sense of sarcasm and judgment we use on each other.

For example, last time I was home my best friend and I wanted to try a dance workout video. Julia (the 14 year old girl in the video) said "Well, maybe if you didn't drink all that booze, you wouldn't be so fat."

Well miss thang, let's discuss your Beatboxing Tutorial. First of all, WHAT exactly are you wearing? I'm actually terrified that you're going to come find me with the Russian mafia and beat(box) me back to the Cold War. Seriously? How is it that our mother won't let me leave the house without a $500 designer bag and you get to post a video of yourself looking like...that?

Second of all, whilst i'm proud that you're getting to be really good at your, um, newfound skill - do you even understand the lyrics you are beatboxing to? "If your mother only knew/that you was try-en to get with me." You're 14. I'm 23. I STILL don't understand the content of that line. And believe me, i've been around the block once or twice. Excuse me, "hood."

Lastly, what made you change skills (skillz)? Dance dance revolution was a perfectly acceptable hobby, as well as, drawing Anime and playing the violin. Uh, nevermind. Carry on with this hobby. But remember sister, you are NOT, read: NOT, an underprivileged child beatboxing about the woes of your life. I know where you live and how you have Coach shoes. You ain't foolin' me.

Although I must say, I was very impressed with your edit disclaimer on your video:

Since I didn't realize that many haters on YouTube are too stupid to be able to read the damn description, I will warn you that I WILL delete negative comments(offensive without reason or strong language used). I do accept critique with supporting details and ideas of my improvement.

Very nice. Keep up the good work.